Ebaum's World Dot Com

once upon time

on the Internet there was a guy

a very deepy flawed man

they called him Eric Bauman

he was a total asshole

and nobody knows why

he traveled all around

on the pulse of each phenomenon

from Something Awful on to Fark

with his trusty watermark

he stole and stuck it all upon

Ebaumsworld.com

it wasn't fair

to those from whom he stole

but did he care?

no not one bit

and then he had the nads

to sell some ads

what a piece of shit

oh, Eric

Eric's quite a slut

other people's work has made him rich

he hired some male prostitutes

dressed them up three-piece suits

his faithful team of lawyers

made the Internet his bitch

'til Lowtax came along

punched him in the face and banged his mom

and Mr. Bauman, quite disgraced,

had his dumb website erased

well, sadly that's a lie,

there's still an Ebaumsworld.com

but if we all join hands

and sing this song

then our call will reach the sky

and maybe Zeus and Thor

will smite that whore

I think it's worth a try

Ebaumsworld is going down

we gotta rise up from the underground

and tell Eric Bauman a thing or two

bout how stealing simply isn't cool

so right now we're making that our mission

and if that bastard doesn't listen

we'll get sick of being lawful

and brand his ass with "SOMETHING AWFUL"