Stalking Skills

Why are there so many letters in this email

Some of the words I don't even know how to pronounce

I think it is harsh and quite unfair

I was walking down the street one night

When I saw you laughing with your friends

You went into a club

Where you can get lots of alcohol

I followed and I placed myself close

To maybe hear what you like

To talk about and maybe find out

Which one is your favourite drink

Maybe I will have one myself

Bravely I rang you up to let you know I like your hairdo

And it makes you look quite hunky too

You just hung up on me like I was some

Crazy girl

Yesterday I got this really unpleasant email saying

I should stop bothering you or else

You might decide to talk to the police

No more phone calls no more letters

No more spying no more stalking

No more phone calls no more creepy stalking

Now I see vividly before me a whole new career

Wearing gloves trenchcoat and a hat

Getting nearer to my victims using all my stalking skills

I will be the new Clouseau

James and the rest

Would retire if they knew

All the things that I would do

Adding bits and pieces and

Collecting little clues

Solve the mystery and the riddle

This is what I'd do