How It Would Be

I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around

The type of talk

The relationships we could have had

The three of us

Me, you, and dad

My mouth went dry

My stomach felt queasy too

So empty and scared

It's all because of you

A dead body that turned out not to be dead

No one understands

Wish I really knew what happened to my mom

Because my family

They told me nothing but lies

They figured if they just told me the truth

I'd break down and cry

Feel betrayed and hurt

Profoundly insecure

Want to knock ten times on Heaven's door

Still suffering from old emotional wounds

I was getting worse

Can't depend on them and their lies

Why did she leave?

How did she die?

And when it gets colder outside

I'll be back next year

With that feeling to make me cry

Wanna go visit her grave

Because it's been such a long, long time

Want to pick a peach rose

And rest it on its side

Say a prayer even though I don't believe

And say goodbye

Don't get me wrong

I have a mind to keep me strong

But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong

And how she's dead and gone

Don't think anyone thinks

Of you as much as I do