Alfie

Oh, oh, deary me

My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed

I tell him he should get up 'cause it's nearly half past three

He can't be bothered 'cause he's high on THC

I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea

I can't even see him 'cause his room is so smoky

Don't understand how one can watch so much TV

My baby brother, Alfie, how I wish that you could see

I only say it 'cause I care

So please, can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair, my dear mon frère

Oh, Alfie, get up, it's a brand new day

I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life away

You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid

Get off your lazy arse, Alfie, please use your brain

Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and spray

I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray

Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid

When all you do is stay and play on your computer games?

I only say it 'cause I care

So please, can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair, my dear mon frère

Oh, little brother, please refrain from doing that

I'm tryna help you out so can you stop being a twat

It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat

And look me in the eyes, take off that stupid fitted cap

I only say it 'cause I care

So please, can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair

Please don't despair

Mon frère