Poor Unfortunate Souls

My dear, sweet child

That's what I do

It's what I live for

To help unfortunate merfolk

Like yourself

Poor souls with no one else to turn to

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light and made a switch

True?

Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And here lately, please, don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

(Pathetic)

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain

In need

This one longing to be thinner

That one wants to get the girl

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad

So true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying: Spells, Ursula, please

And I help them?

Yes, I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole, I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

You'll have your looks

Your pretty face

And don't underestimate

The importance of body language

Ha

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yes, on land it's much preferred

For ladies not to say a word

And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead

Make your choice

I'm a very busy woman

And I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad

But true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet

You've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll

(Flotsam, jetsam, now I've got her, boys)

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate soul