Funky Cold Medina

Alright, dig it

[ VERSE 1 ]

Cold coolin at a bar, and I'm lookin for some action

But like Mike Jagger said, I can't get no satisfaction

The girls are all around, but none of them wanna get with me

My threads are fresh and I'm lookin def, yo, what's up with L-o-c?

The girls is all jockin at the other end of the bar

Havin drinks with some no-name chump, when they know that I'm the star

So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?" he said, "Funky Cold Medina"

Funky Cold Medina

[ VERSE 2 ]

This brother told me a secret on how to get more chicks

Put a little Medina in your glass, and the girls'll come real quick

It's better than any alcohol or aphrodisiac

A couple of sips of this love potion, and she'll be on your lap

So I gave some to my dog when he began to beg

Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg

He used to scratch and bite me, before he was much much meaner

But now all the poodles run to my house for the Funky Cold Medina

You know what I'm sayin?

I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin down my door

I got Spuds McKenzie

Alex from Stroh's

They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

[ VERSE 3 ]

I went up to this girl, she said, "Hi, my name is Sheena"

I thought she'd be good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina

She said, "I'd like a drink," I said, "Ehm - ok, I'll go get it"

Then a couple sips she cold licked her lips, and I knew that she was with it

So I took her to my crib, and everything went well as planned

But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess, Sheena was a man

So I threw him out, I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener

You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina

You know, ain't no plans with a man

This is the 80's, and I'm down with the ladies

Ya know?

Break it down

[ VERSE 4 ]

Back in the saddle, lookin for a little affection

I took a shot as a contestant on _The Love Connection_

The audience voted, and you know they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton for Medina and some dinner

She had a few drinks, I'm thinkin soon what I'll be gettin

Instead she started talkin 'bout plans for our weddin

I said, "Wait, slow down, love, not so fast says, I'll be seein ya"

That's why I found you don't play around with the Funky Cold Medina

Ya know what I'm sayin

That Medina's a monster, y'all

Funky Cold Medina