Dark Place

Yeah

Depression, anxiety got ahold of me

'Cause people say they want the older me

Well, I'm thirty, this the oldest me

Behold it's me, the piece of shit that's not good enough

Not black enough, not hood enough

Not rich enough, not poor enough

My heart has poured enough

I been beaten and battered, my confidence shattered

Been broken and tattered

I'm constantly second guessin' if my profession is worth it on my mental state

Writin' this from a dark place with humility and grace

Peace, love, and positivity was my nativity

But now when socials are in my vicinity

I'm not runnin' from the internet

My God, I was at his birth, I've been a vet

Goin' berserk like Peter down at InterTech, yo, ayy

It's deeper than the surface, I'm searchin' for purpose

I'm tired of searchin' for logic and Googlin' purposes to read that I'm worthless

I remember makin' music alone, just a pen and a microphone

But nowadays it's hard to get in the zone

Writin' rhymes was easy before the fame

Now I'm constantly overthinkin' every line, it's a shame

rap used to fill me with joy, now it's nothin' but pain

I'm stuck in the game, tryna get back from where I came

I write this letter for the person who's listenin'

Fed up and tired of people dismissin' 'em, I'm with you

I been through what you been through

And no amount of money can take away the feelin' of insecurity

Only through maturity can we overcome

Feel like I've been overrun, feel like it's over, I'm done

Whoever told you success gon' make you happy? You been lied to

All of my dreams came true but I bleed and cry too

Never been perfect, I failed every time I tried to

Feelin' hated and underappreciated

Every time I look in the mirror, I wonder: Why you?

Shit, I'd love to end this on some positive shit

Hit you with punchlines instead of some derogative shit

But it's okay to be sad sometimes and tired of shit, I guess

And people say: Well you're just out for money

I say: That's none of your business

You see, a lot of people don't feel happy

Unless they have another thing beyond money, which is called status

And status, to a very large extent in our economy consists in

In having this thing, that thing, the other thing, and having a swimming pool

A, uh, Ferrari, uh, some kind of clothes and uh, some kind of house

And so on, and so on, and so on

And we think, uh, we need all that

Because we haven't asked ourselves whether that was what we really wanted

They all think they gotta have this, they gotta have that

And uh, they don't really want it

If they sat back and considered: Do I need all that? Is this trip really necessary?

They would come to the conclusion it wasn't, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha