Talking Guitar Blues

'Ere, if you wanna get in trouble

Let me tell you how to do it

Get yourself a guitar and then you're right into it

You play all day and you play all night

People say you'll never learn to play the thing right

Always messing about, groaning at you

Moaning, won't let you practise

So I bought meself a guitar about a year ago

The man said I could learn it in a week or so

Gave me a little book, pick or two

Said 'here y'are mate, it's up to you'

Dirty rotter, cost me ten nicker, all the loot I had

Good guitar, though - call it a pluckit

Anyway, spent me dough

And I couldn't let it all go to waste, you know

So I took the book, guitar, and all

And I went back home where the trees are tall

Down in Woodford - good place to be if you've got a guitar

Pretty rotten if you ain't

Well, for weeks and weeks I worked hard

And I tried to learn a few main chords

Book says they're easy as abc

Cor, my fingers is killing me

Got sore on the ends.

Couldn't hold the strings down

Wanted to pack up, cor, I felt rough

Anyway, kept on playing with all me might

I could see mum's hair was turning white

And her face was lined with discontent

She said her patience was pretty near spent

She was nervous, ears ringing, wanted to scream

You know, couldn't get no relief

So sister, anyway, she took it worst of all

'Cause she got married the following fall

She said 'for love' but I got me doubts

I think the guitar chased her out

She's a game girl, though

Just couldn't take it, you know

Limit to everything

Dad, he took it a different way

He said, you can turn your mum's hair grey

Drive your sister away from home

But you or me boy's gonna start to roam

And I ain't going - never intend to

You figure it out - so I did, fast, you know

Anyway, next day had me clothes all packed

And I slung me guitar across me back

Caught meself a great long train

Searched the world for me share of fame

Ain't found none - just hardships, messing about

Skiffle, Tommy Steele