The Man Who Couldn't Cry

There once was a man who just couldn't cry

He hadn't cried for years & for years

Napalmed babies & the movie 'love story',

For instance could not produce tears

As a child he had cried as all children will

But at some point the tear ducts ran dry

He grew to be a man & the feces hit the fan

Things got bad but he couldn't cry

His dog got run over, his wife up & left him

After that he got sacked from his job

Lost an arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore

But still not a sniffle & sob

Well his novel was refused & his movie was banned

And his biog broadway show was a flop

He was sent off to jail, you guessed it, no bail

But still not a dribble or drop

In jail he was beaten, bullied & buggered

And made to make licence plates

Water & bread was all he was fed

But not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists too,

Theologians were last & practically least

They all agreed sure enough

He was no cream puff

But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail & placed in a place

For the insensitive & the insane

He played lots of chess & he made lots of friends

And he wept every time it would train

Once it rained 40 days & it rained 40 nights

And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

On the 41st day he just passed away

He just dehydrated & died

He went up to heaven located his dog

Not only that but he rejoined his arm

Down below all the critics, they took it all back

Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke

The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground, the prison burned down

The earth suffered perpetual drought