Story Of The Stairs

"And that was a dark depressing time for him, you know

He did had one visit with his mother I think

During the time that he lived with me and she brought

Him a huge box fill with gifts you know clothes and all

Kinds of little goodies and stuff and it sat in the corner

Untouched, literally for months he'd never opened anything just

Left the box there"

What's going on in your mind when someone you haven't seen

Since you were nine is out at your door step right now?

Rewind, remember that one time when marco showed up at the front door

And we found out he escaped from a psych ward

And stole grandma's car?

Ah, rest her soul

I know that's off topic, but I miss her soul

So ironic that she was blind but told me I'm handsome I was

Every time that I walked in the door

Can't lie and say it was easy being 14 on february 14th

Watching a body die in my arms

Then have to go to a school that I hated

When my grade indicate that I don't give a fuck what's going on

A couple hours later on

And not to mention that one bitch that I loved

By the way I call her "bitch" because she was

Wanted me to catch another man fucking her

Invited me over, told me to come into the front

Come upstairs and say what's up

And there she was

Little slut

I was broken hearted, should've broke that bitch's jaw

Just for playin' me like a chump

But instead went to the garage, grabbed one

Of her brother's rifles, went outside, and shot that other

Mothafucka's truck up

I guess that's what lead me to cuffs

Becomin' common in my life like funerals was

Daddy's less common now, he gave up

After he heard the judge pin a fucking felony on his son

Funny enough

Me and aunt barbara even closer

Start to feel some weight lift off her shoulder

Till it piled back on when a radiologist] told her

That she had breast cancer and might not live much longer

Fast forward

The woman that I call my "mother" isn't my mother

Or even blood but that's how much I love her

And I'm feeling awkward cause the doorbell's from the person that I call her

Maybe I ain't ready for it...

Shit, what should I wear?

Fuck that, I ain't going down there

I waited over a decade for closure

Why should I receive it if it might not be something I want to hear

In the mirror is a empty reflection

And in my head are questions I want to ask like, "where the fuck did you go?"

Why did you turn my birthdays to the worst days every year that you didn't show?

And if you must know, I didn't turn out to be much else

Than a drunk who fell face first to a pile of hell

Took four snuffs of the devil's dust

Ended up with my manager helping me cause I couldn't take a piss by myself

But I did get a record deal

And all my records got that making of a legend feel

And I did have a daughter who I promised that the way that way you made me felt

Is a way she will never, feel

Slip a benadryl in my cup

Ech, fuck it I'm sickening up

Pit of my stomach clenching, all my muscles stiffening up

I ain't been this nervous since I got jumped

Flick the tip of my j over a surface cover with ashes and junk

Took a pull and sat it down

Put on both of my chucks

Reach for the door but my hand's sweaty, I'm anxious as fuck

Couldn't even hit the stairs without remembering how many years

I was there waiting to see your car pull up

Now you saying she's right there?

Man you saying she's right there?

You telling me if I open up this door right here

That she'll been standing right there?

And after all these years am I wrong for having this fear

Of meeting the reflection that was missing in the mirror

Open up the door and then I see her