Had A Friend

"You know it's a really hard thing trynna have friends in this world. I aint even really got that many. It's probably cause I'm so fucked up in the head nobody wants to stay around that long. That's okay though, people that matter are still around, that's what's good. I don't know it was like I was listening to the rising tide and it really got me thinkin, that's why I did this. Cause you wanna know what mane? It ain't just you. Me too."

I had a friend named Victor

Well actually really wasn't much of a friend

He would just bully me whenever he could seems like it would never end

See he would beat me up, steal my bike, oh-so-cliche

But the next day he be knockin at the door like nothin lookin to play

I dealt with it cause nobody else liked me

And I thought that at some point he would come down and not always wanna fight me

But it turns out that he had lots of problems and his family was cracked

Drugs and alcohol and things like that

So I tell ya this: he lived a fast life

Not the type to study much and always comin home late in the night

All the other kids thought that he was tight

Even them highschoolers too

I guess everyone loves maniacs that just has to be true

Time passed and I did two finally moved outta that town

It's a good thing too, one more year and I would have burned it down

I'm serious. Anyway, time just kinda tick-tocked

And it isn't like after I left either one of us ever talked

I don't know what he was doing, don't know the where don't know the why

Don't really care he was just somebody that used to make me cry

So I red when I see his eyes

And little to my surprise

Anybody else that would ever try to send his voice into my mind

Made me a true cynic when it came to having my friends

I lost a lot because of all the wrong signals I would send

Over backwards I would bend

Just to have someone around

I could be the peasant and you would wear the crown

I frown when I look back but I guess Karma is consistent

And it stays with you regardless of how longly you say it didn't

Cause this kid didn't even get to make it till 18

Drove a motorbike a little bit too fast goin over a bridge and crashed into a tree

Truly a tragedy and that's a fact I can't lie

When he died I was stuck with a weird feeling inside

Was I glad that he was gone or was I sad that he was young?

That shit don't deserve to happen to anyone

Two divorced parents lost a son a brother lost a friend

And all that I lost was a little feeling that someday I'd see him again

I won't pretend I didn't care didn't cry

My sister did I don't know why

They weren't friends, she knew him though, I guess it was just because he died

When she tole me I replied,

Why are you crying?

She said it was so sudden and so surprising

Tried being upset but I just couldn't, cause every time that I did

All that I could see was the way that he treated me when the both of us were kids

Does that make me a bad guy? Well maybe it does

But I'm just not gonna feel sorry for what is and what was

If y'all believe in heaven then I'm hoping that he made it

Even though he was my enemy and the memory is faded

Cause sometimes the war is changin and even when I hate it

This is life and I just get one so it's always appreciated

Anything that happened was specifically for a reason

Even if I don't know what it was by the time that I will leave it

Believe it