Confessions

I have a tale to tell

I was three feet from the floor, gasping for air

Trying to release my father's hands from my throat

I looked into his eyes and wondered

If my feet would ever touch the floor again

Have you ever been hit so hard

That it sends your body flying across the room?

We all fall to the floor at some point

It's how you pick yourself up

That's the real challenge, isn't it?

I've always lived in my own world

And I dance to escape my troubles

I've learned that there's light even in the darkest places

I can't blame my father for anything

You can't rely on other people to make you happy

But I know deep down inside

He loved me

There was a time

I suffered so much I want to get it out of me

I would cut my arms

Not to kill myself

I don't want to die

I know I am lucky to be on this earth

I did it so the physical pain

Would calm the pain that was eating me inside

Nothing was erased

I leave with my past tucked away

Deep inside of me

It comes out as an explosion and

It invades me

I believe we are messengers on earth

I believe in angels

I am blessed by God to tell myself

I suffered that much to become who I am today

Now, you have to realize

Not only do I have a family

But now I have a whole hood

And that's power

But I ain't no grimey-ass nigga

I was never out to kill anybody

Especially when I made that decision to gang-bang

I just wanted to fit in

But one day

I was forced to something that made me open my eyes

And I realised that this shit ain't no game

One of the homies got popped

And I was pressured into doing my first drive-by

It was kinda fucked up the way they tried to set me up

Me and my bro, we was headed back to the eight block

Some homies rolled up and they asked us to go somewhere

We pulled up to the corner

Then he placed a chunky-ass gun in my ride

He said: You know what to do with it

It's time to get poppin' for the hood

But I wasn't out to kill anybody

I wasn't raised like that