Father Time (Where Are You Now)

Father time, where are you?

We are lost and so alone

We need your assistance so please answer your phone

Why did you become such a needy, stubborn jerk

Who won't show up for new years eve instead in the shadows you lurk?

So let's go down together and we'll find that stupid man

Who thinks it's more important to get drunk and get a tan

And if you think I'm crazy just because the way I sing

Well, that's just how this stupid song begins

Father time was working late one cloudy, stormy night

The bell would never ring and father time

Would not give up a fight

Sandman did his job just like the others at this time

At least that's what our father time believed, oh what a rime

Mrs time was waiting at her home that Christmas eve

Alone and shattered by the darkest night she could not see

Sandman came on by to give her sleep and pleasant dreams

Oh no, sandman!

No more sleep inside my head

Now get your ass down to the bed

Father time, where are you now?

The darkest of hours is passing us by, so

Father time, where are you now?

It's time for another new year

Honey, I'm home!

Then when father time arrived two hours late that night

The bedroom door was open and what did he have insight?

Mrs time and sandman making babies on the bed

Oh boy, you should have seen his eyes turn red

Screaming like a maniac he ran into the room

Took his rifle, aimed and fired off a boom

Bleeding man was running all around the house in pain

Oh no, sandman

Get your ass back here!

I'm gonna paint

My walls with your brain!

Father time, where are you now?

The darkest of hours is passing us by, so

Father time, where are you now?

It's time for another new year

And when the santa bastard came around through the

Chimney down, he saw a bleeding, dying man

And father time with a rifle in his hand

Oh, what a tragedy, when santa came

Ruined all his plans to hide sandman's body away

I mean, who wants to get caught by the cops?

We need our father time to ring in the new year in time

No mr sandman, well that's okay

Who wants to sleep anyway?

But father time must be around

Oh, and santa's body was also never found

Father time had to kill santa and his reindeer's

Holy crime, no good will, time has gone insane here

Now the story's over and we all can celebrate that

Father time is back again 'cause he killed the man he hates

Mrs time has left him for that diaper cupid guy

Oh no, cupid!

Mrs time is mine forever

Your a stupid son of a

Whatever!

Father time, where are you now?

The darkest of hours is passing us by, so

Father time, where are you now?

It's time for a new year

Father time, here are you now

The darkest of hours will not pass us by, so

Father time, have one more beer

It's time for another new year

It's time for another new year

Happy new year to you all