Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Mark David Manders
Canonical path: /mark-david-manders/big-johnson
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
Big Johnson
Read Big Johnson lyrics by Mark David Manders on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
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Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
Big Johnson
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There was a cajun queen down in Louisianne
Gave birth to a boy with an over-sized gland
It was a thyroid condition that swelled his neck
And none of the girls would give any lip
To Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Johnson
There was a story about his daddy who he never knew
And each day that passed that thyroid grew
He was a freak of nature, but a lawyer by trade
And he couldn't understand why the girls were afraid
Of Big Johnson
So he took a teaching job on the California Coast
At an all girls law school where he hoped
He'd find a near-sighted girl for his far-feched dreams
Who could overlook the defect in his genes
Big Johnson
Big John
Big John
Big Johnson
And then one day on a routine trip
To law library the earth began slip
The lights went out and the shelves began to fold
All the girls screamed, but no one grabbed ahold of Big Johnson
Then a falling shelf caught on the bulge in his neck
And he let out a groan but he stood there erect
And as they scrambled beneath his legs to make their escape,
40 paralegals came to appreciate Big Johnson
Big John
Big John
Big Johnson
The rescue workers agreed that no one could survive
Under 20 tons of law books and still be alive
Then a girl grabbed the Captain and said "You don't understand,
At the bottom of those briefs lies a big, big gland...Big Johnson"
Big John
Big John
Big Johnson
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Who performs "Big Johnson"?
Mark David Manders performs "Big Johnson", and this lyric page sits inside the Mark David Manders catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Big Johnson"?
Yes. The related section below points to Anne Marie and Black Jack Road with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Mark David Manders?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Mark David Manders's lyric pages.
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