He Drives A Volvo

There's many reasons why I drink and drive

If got to get home before it gets light

There's many reasons why I will arrive

I'm on the road and I'm as high as a kite

There's many reasons why I will survive

I drive a Volvo so I'll be alright

He drives a Volvo...

Well I got this car and I drove it around

And the police come along and they slow me down

Saying come to the station come with me

And where's your licence m.o.t

You drink too much you drive too fast

And now you'll have to blow in the bag

All the white crystals turning green

I suppose you know just what this means

Well they locked me up took away my keys

Without not even a thanks or please

Empty your pockets and things like that

And piss in a pot and come right back

Sit in a cell and make no noise

Or you'll get a visit from the boys

Then in comes one with a cup of tea

No thanks man it's a beer for me

Well I go to court with the old JP

I know the police got it in for me

They're telling that beaky porky pies

And say they think I shouldn't drive

I drink too much I drive too fast

And when I went to blow in the bag

Then all the white crystals turning all green

But in my defence I told 'em clean