I Feel Like a Milkshake

She wore an apron that was covered in gravy stains

She had a little green book and she had varicose veins

I was tired, I was hungry, I was ready to snap

She dropped the steaming gumbo right in my lap

I was alone otherwise I would have trashed the place

But I was soothed by the Muzak and a beautiful face

The meat was chewy and the chicken was bland

I'm not a gannet, but she had me eatin' out of her hand

And I feel, and I feel

And I feel like a milkshake

I never ordered a slice of life à la mode

What I need is an earthquake

I could hide in the crack in the road

But I feel like a milkshake

(Ooh, like a milkshake)

She started sponging my pants, it really tickled

She took my plate and sank her teeth into my pickle

She sat down on my lap and started picking my teeth

She was naked as a baby underneath

We were lost in a dream on a bed of fluffy rice

When I was grabbed by the chef, he had a grip like a vise

He had gold medallions and a hairy chest

I gave him back his wife, but he was still depressed

And I feel, and I feel

And I feel like a milkshake

I never ordered a slice of life à la mode

What I need is an earthquake

I could hide in the crack in the road

But I feel like a milkshake

(Ooh, like a milkshake)

I tipped heavy so they wouldn't think the English are mean

I saw a ground beef patty hit the coffee machine

I could tell this gorilla was the moody kind

I could have used a doggy bag, but I changed my mind

One of these hungry days when my luck runs dry

I'm gonna meet that Great Soda Jerk in the sky

Setting the heavenly blender for the final frappé

He'll wipe the fudge from his beard and then he'll probably say

Do you feel, do you feel

Do you feel like a milkshake

At the end of your slice of life à la mode?

We could split a devil's food cake

But the man with the van never showed

So we'll both have a milkshake

(Ooh, have a milkshake, ooh, have a milkshake)

(Ooh, have a milkshake)