So You Think You've Got Troubles

So you think you've got troubles

The more you try the worse you get

So you think the world don't like you

Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

My car sounds like an old tin can

My wife went off with another man

And i strained a muscle of my fishing hand

My income tax is due

Now i lost my money in a poker game

And i think my left leg is a-goin' lame

My brother asked if i'd change my name

And that's what i think i'll do

My doctor told me not to smoke

Drink nothing stronger than a coke

I'm not even supposed to hear dirty jokes

For i'd laugh and strain my heart

I had every illment known to man

From the african mumps to a dishpan hand

I lost every race that i ever ran

I didn't even get a start

So you think you've got troubles

The more you try the worse you get

So you think the world don't like you

Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

Now some people call me a pessimist

They say that i oughta make the best of this

Well, maybe i am a pessimist

That's something that i wouldn't know

But one thing i do know, i'll tell you right now

I'm a-milkin' the wrong end of this old cow

There's to many wrinkles in this boy's brow

That stuff has got to go

So you think you've got troubles

The more you try the worse you get

So you think the world don't like you

Well brother, you ain't heard nothing yet

So i put me a bar in the back of my car

And drive myself to drink!