Miracle

My mummy says I'm a miracle

My daddy says I'm his special little guy

I am a princess

And I am a prince

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

No one is as handsome, strong as me

It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge

But I'm his little soldier!

Hop, 2-4-3!

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

No one is as bold or tough as me

Has my daddy told you

One day when I'm older

I can be a soldier

And shoot you in the face?

One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days

It seems that there are millions of these one-in-a-millions these days

Special-ness seems de rigueur

Above average is average, go figure

Is it is some modern miracle of calculus

That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous?

My mummy says I'm a miracle

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!

My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina

She has never seen a prettier barrelina

She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream

But I'm a barrelina, so give me more cake!

Take another picture of our angel in that costume that I made

The role of tree has never been portrayed with such convincing sway

That's right, honey, look at mummy!

Don't put honey on your brother

Smile for mummy; smile for mother!

I think she blinked

Well, take another!

Have you seen his school report?

He got a C on his report!

What?

We'll have to change his school

That teacher's clearly falling short

She's just delightful

So precarious and insightful

Might she be a little brighter than the norm?

I know to boast it's frightful form!

(Take another!)

My mummy says I'm a miracle

(She looks lovely in this light)

One look at my face, and it's plain to see

(Honey, honey)

Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord

(Don't put honey on your brother)

It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!

My mummy says I'm a miracle

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball

You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical

There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!

Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind

Each new-born life, a canvas yet unpainted

This still unbroken skin

This uncorrupted mind

Every life is unbelievably unlikely

The chances of existence, almost infinitely small

The most common thing in life is life

And yet every single life bearing new life is a miracle!

Miracle!

Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal

My skin looks just revolting in this foul fluorescent light

And this gown is nothing like the semi-formal, semi-Spanish gown

I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight

I should be dancing the tarantella

Cui buon fare italiano

Not dressed in hospital cotton

With a smarting front bottom

And this horrible

(Miracle!)

Smelly little

(Miracle!)

Weakly little bowl of fat!

(What the hell was that?)

Would someone give this thing a bottle?

Or swap it for a later model!

Why do bad things always happen to good people?

Fine, upstanding citizens like you and me?

Why, when we've done nothing wrong

Should this disaster come along?

This horrible, weird-looking

Hairy little stinky feet

With no sign of a winky-dink at all!

Miracle! Miracle!

She's a miracle!

A miracle!

Every life's a miracle!

The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen!

I can't find his frank & beans!

Every life is unbelievably unlikely

The chances of existence, almost infinitely small

The most common thing in life is life

And yet every single life bearing new life is a miracle!

Miracle!

My mummy says I'm a miracle

That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball

You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical

There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as me!

My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm

My daddy says I'm a bore

My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ

That kids like me should be against the law

My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole

No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me

Mum says I'm a good case for population control

Dad says I should watch more TV