I Heart Fags

I love fags

'cause I am a San Franciscan.

If you're dissing on my homos

then this censure's what you're risking

(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):

you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!

Queers like to fuck.

Fags are great, they got hundreds of uses

you can see them on TV explaining what puce is.

Abstruse is the world but very simple is the homo:

he or she is anyone who's keen to do another one more so

than the opposite, follow?

Fags are great 'cause almost every single one swallows

or so I'm led to believe, lesbians also I've heard of,

not to mention non-gender-identified spivaks seekin' nerd love,

and I've spurned just about everything there is

'cause I was born here, and here's where I live.

Here I give you this advice: love a fag today

either up close and personally, or from far away.

See fags are gay, and gay's a good adjective.

It means like happy and high, but you had to just

shy me away from the topic of my fag-love.

Something maybe that you're lackin' in? Don't get mad just

'cause you don't have such a big heart as Frontalot

you could love fags too, you already think dykes are hot.

Why not come on down to the street fair,

asses in chaps plus rough trade to meet there,

some of whom been barebacking it in back alleys for years.

Yo I promise if you visit you could meet some queers

and if you love even just one, hooray!

If you don't, well I hope you enjoyed your stay

and I hope you go on your merry way

with the chorus of my song slowly turning you gay.

I love fags

'cause I am a San Franciscan.

If you're dissing on my homos

then this censure's what you're risking

(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):

you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!

Queers like to fuck.

And you don't love fags, this much is apparent.

You're having nightmares about them every time you get your hair cut;

you stare what you suspect could be a queer man

in the eye, in the mirror, enzymes coming out your fear gland.

He's got scissors near your eardrums

might lose your hearing you don't watch it with these queer ones!

And here comes your presidential cheerleader now

so disturbed by the marriages in my home town

that he's got to take the tip top law in the land down

scribble on it: "I hate homos, big bad frown."

Put it back up, be like "What? It's better!

Y'all were with me a second ago

when I said that marriage was threatened

and it was! Under siege by these villains.

Can you believe they wanted to gang up and have children?

There'd be an army of them, teeming and thronging

tempting every American to give in to forbidden longing

and I thought that they couldn't reproduce, that was their weakness!

Now what are we gonna do? They're gonna seek just

treatment under the law, damn it that's like saying

it's okay to be gay or a lesbian! Hey man,

you can not say that. Society would crumble and fall apart."

I'll think about that on the BART

gladdening every inch of the ride

to be on the way to the where I reside

not just a place where I keep my stuff

but the spot got plenty of the kind of person that I love.

I love fags

'cause I am a San Franciscan.

If you're dissing on my homos

then this censure's what you're risking

(I'm insisting on containing my temper but listen up):

you shouldn't ought to be intolerant about who queers like to fuck!

Queers like to fuck.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.

I love fags. Oh, oh, oh.

I love...