Very Poorly Concealed Secret Track

(Wheelie Cyberman)

Sipping Perrier, playing ping pong

Movin' up the ranks y'all

Hey man, you know there's nothin' wrong

With a late night battle,

I always stay prepared

Got my paddle in my backpack

Challenger's beware.

With the P-I-N-G

Volley for the serve, hit it nice and easy

See we got these regulations for a tournament

O.R.P.P.R.B., check the document

I'll officiate, your event, keep it on the level

Inspect the surfaces, arguments are settled

Scrutinize the nets, keep 'em taut and snappy

Rock the color commentary, keep the people happy

It's on. The day starts just before dawn,

robot's on the front lawn, giving seminars

On the finer arts like brutal back hand hits

People linin' up, earnin' new certificates

Check the merchandise, man Grimmy thought of everything

Sweat bands up to grand champion rings

It means that nobody leaves empty-handed

Every last ball on the court's O.R.P.P.R.B. branded

Demand from my sponsors is big and getting better

See me at the match in my ping pong sweater

I'm in the locker room, lifting weights to get strong

Sipping perrier, playing ping pong

(chorus)

(MC Frontalot)

Ping Pong

Step up to the Table

Ping Pong

Put the ball in play

Ping Pong

I don't care what you call it, step up to the table put the ball in play

Ping Pong

Step up to the Table

Ping Pong

Put the ball in play

Ping Pong

Not once have I fallen, step up to the table put the ball in play

(Wheelie)

What? Yo, they challenge me? To a sanctioned event?

It went quick with the skunk, yeah love zero 6

Top Spin smashes, stops them dead in their tracks

You see the way I relax is winnin' ping pong matches

Victories are comin' in batches

When I practice, it's back---back hand again

Forehand, no return practice sideways spin

The skin on my paddle's kinda floppy

But it don't stop me, I'll win in any condition

While you wishin' that you could scout out my style and try to copy

I'm in Japan learning secret paddle positions

I'm on a steady diet: sashimi to gohan

I eat with my fingers consult the master for advice:

(Frontalot)

You can excel, grasshopper, if you're willing to pay the price

Keep your eyes on the ball, feel the paddle like a friend

You don't have to have telekinesis but pretend like you do

Then guide the sphere around the court

And to enter the slow motion so that time and space distort

Make report with the paddle, pick pock how it go

Pop lock as you wield and feel the ball flow

Against the countercurrents of the motion you make

You might mistake it for a simple game of angles, but it ain't

Now taint the universe with the flavor of your game

Tilt reality around the ball to shape the lane

Of its travel, but do not let it unravel, fate

Don't return a volley if it's already too late

It's unfair to your opponent how you move through air

How you throw away your paddle in your back pocket got a spare

How you dared him to serve before you got in the room

How he tried but the net cradled each as a womb

Now, assuming that you've got all my lessons ignored

(Wheelie)

See me at the Comfort Inn on the World Tour

It's 4 a.m., I'm eatin' continental breakfast

The competition don't expect this

A new serve from Mr. Cyberman, an ace is unexpected

I'm happy as long as my ladder post is protected

Our gear's not the tightest, is all that we found

That table might wobble but it don't fall down.

I'm in the locker room liftin' weights, gettin' strong

Sippin' Perrier, playing ping pong

(chorus)

Every ball is branded, serve it left-handed,

O.R.P.P.R.B., see the label and demand it

It can get kinda crazy, you understand it

It don't phase me, it's the just the way that we planned it.

Every ball is branded, serve it left-handed,

O.R.P.P.R.B., see the label and demand it

It can get kinda crazy, you understand it

It don't phase me, it's the just the way that we planned it.