History's Greatest Assholes

I got a new drum set, i'm testing it out

Look what i can do mom - yo!

So people always remember the good guys, but

What about the villains?

I-i-i've compiled a list of my favorite ones (turn me up)

In rap form, for you, here we go

The greatest assholes, in more or less chronological order

Here's a list of famous assholes, let's start with this dude

Named cain - he killed his brother, and that was just rude (family values)

Brutus & cassius were jerks, just a little

Nero was no hero; rome burned he played the fiddle

Caligula could give you a night to remember

Genghis khan might tie you up, might lacerate your member

And when it came to ballers there was vlad the impaler

He'd run a stake up through you out your mouth to make you holla

It's no mystery, history remembers

Pirates pillaging, and villagers dismembered

Vikings on a quest in their dragon-shaped boats

Runnin up on castles, jumpin over moats

Christopher columbus rolled up with a fungus

Pizarro and cortes made the natives all say "um this

One-sided exchange, is not that nice" (run for your life)

Like henry the 8th, beheading wife after wife

History's greatest, assholes [3x]

I'm calling you out, i'm calling you out

History's greatest, assholes [3x]

I'm smoking you out, i'm smoking you out

Benedict arnold, and oliver cromwell (traitors)

Napoleon bonaparte, all wish it had gone well

With blown apart plans, like andrew jackson

A trail of tears, dividing families like fractions

Jack the ripper had bad morals like lenin

Stalin killed 20 million, and sent them all to heaven

Or hell i don't know, but one thing is for certain

So many russian people murdered, behind an iron curtain

Gavrio princip shot franz ferdinand

Which lead to world war i and a famous scottish band

Which lead to world war ii and freakin bodies everywhere

At the holocaust museum there's a wall of shoes and hair

On a rainy day in amsterdam, tell me way

I saw the anne frank house and it made me cry (she couldn't leave)

So whistle while you work, hitler was a jerk (no workers' comp)

Mussolini was a weenie, asshole's got some nerve!

{okay lars the turn goes to you}

I'll take compassionate athletes for 500 alex!

{this football player is also known as a strong advocate of animal rights}

Who is michael vick?

{i'm sorry lars, but that is incorrect}

Damn!

Mengele was sick, with that scientific research

Lamps of human skin blood up on his t-shirt

Pol pot, ho chi minh, idi amin

All up in the jungle actin real mean

Mark david chapman shot a beatle on the street

James earl ray killed martin luther king

Manson crashed parties and painted the town

The zodiac killer has yet to be found

It's an inside job trading junk bonds and derivatives

Systematic risk, wall street greed is quite indicative

20 billion in the bank but y'all kept on spending

Killing our economy with subprime lending

Vince offer slapchopped a hooker in the face

John mayer said very awkward things about his race

Charlie sheen - wait hold up

Everyone's rapping about charlie sheen right now

And it's played out and boring and whack

So i'm going to skip this part (good call)

Biff tannen well actually, his whole family

I'm speaking candidly like, colmes and hannity

It's insanity, they rapin everybody

We tune in when it's shockin and we tune in when it's bloody

Mel gibson hittin women thinkin he can get away like oj

Oh wait, what would dr. laura say?

Okay no way, yo i almost forgot

George w. bush, you got the number one spot!