New Dirty Dozen

Come all you folks and start to walk, I'm fixing to start my dozen talk

What you're thinking about ain't on my mind, that stuff you got is the sorriest kind

Now you're a sorry mistreater, robber and a cheater

Slip you in the dozens, your papa and your cousin

Your mama do the lordy lord

Come all of you women's outta be in the can, out on the corner stopping every man,

Hollering "Soap is a nickel and the towel is free, I'm pigmeat, pappy, now who wants me?"

You's a old mistreater, robber and a cheater

Slip you in the dozens, your papa and your cousin

Your mama do the lordy lord

Now the funniest thing I ever seen, tom cat jumping on a sewing machine

Sewing machine run so fast, took 99 stitches in his yas, yas, yas

Now he's a cruel mistreater, robber and a cheater

Slip you in the dozens, your papa and your cousin

Your mama do the lordy lord

Now I'm gonna tell you all about old man Bell, he can't see but he sure can smell

Fish-man passed here the other day, hollering "Hey, pretty mama, I'm going your way"

I know all about your pappy and your mammy,

your big fat sister and your little brother Sammy,

your auntie and your uncle and your ma's and pa's,

they all got drunk and showed their Santa Claus

Now they're all drunken mistreaters, robbers and a cheaters

Slip you in the dozens, your papa and your cousin

Your mama do the lordy lord