Johnny Jump Up

Well, I'll tell you a story that happened to me

one day as I went out to Yaw by the sea.

The day it was hot, the sun it was warm,

says I, "A quick pint wouldn't do any harm."

I went in and ordered a bottle of stout.

Says the barman, "I'm sorry the beer's all sold out.

Try whiskey, young Paddy, ten years in the wood."

Says I, "I'll have cider; I've heard that it's good."

Chorus:

But I'll never, no never, no never again

if I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten.

Well I fell to the ground and I could not get up

after drinking a quart of the Johnny-Jump-Up.

After law in the third, I came out by the yard

where I walked into Brofie, the big civic guard;

"Come 'ere to me boy. Don't you know I'm the law?"

I opened me fist and I shattered his jaw.

Well he fell to the ground with his knees doubled up;

'twas not I that what hit him, but the Johnny Jump-Up.

Chorus

The next thing that I met down by Yaw by the Sea

was a cripple on crutches, and he said to me,

"I'm afraid for me life. I'll be hit by a car.

Won't you help me across to the railwayman's bar?"

But after drinkin' a quart of the cider so sweet,

he threw down his crutches and danced on his feet.

Chorus

Well I went down the lee road a friend for to see;

they call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Sea.

But when I got there, sure the truth I will tell,

they had the poor bugger locked up in his cell.

So's the guard tested him, "Say these word if you can:

"Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran."

"Tell 'em I'm not crazy, tell 'em I'm not mad.

'Twas only the sip off the bottle I had."

Chorus

A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb.

They washed him and they laid him out on a slab.

And after O'Connor his measurements did take,

his wife took him home for a bloody fine wake.

Well, about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high,

the corpse sits up and says he with a sigh,

"I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up,

'till I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump-Up."