Hiding

Take the train to Frankford

I won’t answer when they call

I guess that’s just my gift to myself

Drank a lot and danced to The Cure

Holding on for dear life

To the frayed edge of a feeling we misplaced years ago

And knowing we should really get back home

Made mistakes

The plants died young, like all good things

But I wish my small self had known

How much water to use

Still, some nights I find

The ideas that bring me rest

Are the ones that used to prod and pester and keep me up

Swinging open doors I swore I’d shut

Pouring pewter

Amassing coins to displace debt to you

My straight-line shooter

Let me learn here

I am in pursuit of all I can undo

Entertain the cancer

We all answer upwards either way

The waiting game is tied again

Backs of hands and phrases

Misplaced gazes

Things we still deny to selves and hesitate to talk about

A call from high school, two drinks in

I smiled but you could not see

Your tin can cell receiver hummed its New York static song

The lever pulled and all at once

The floor was false

The center seam divided

Lace and well-pressed cotton

Found the flood we’d since forgotten

We still leave our shoes at the door

Before we wring out our wet clothes

Across your floor and future

Stitch the gaps that destiny assumed

With floral sutures

Are you hiding or have I abandoned you?

Let me learn here

I am in pursuit of all I can undo