Hippopotamomus

I come from the jungle

From Popocatepetl

Chief of the clan

Hippopotamomae

But when the filthy great volcano

Wiped out my fellow hippos

I was the only individual to survive

Hip-hip-hip Hippopotamomus

Pop-pop-pop Popocatepetl

We rolled in mud

Deep in the bed of the river

Were monster fat

And loved only disgusting things

We rummaged about for truffles

Then shat them out in the forest

By the fabulous tombs of Aztec kings

One day as I lay humping under Popocatepetl

The volcano started pumping down hot liquid metal

A flood of steaming lava erupted like Pompeii

And stuck me forever to the hippo I was fucking that day

Then a team of boring scientists shoved us in a crate

Packed it up with straw and then conveyed me and my mate

To the Museum of Natural History, where between two stuffed camels

They stuck us in this case labelled 'Copulating Artiodactyl Mammals'

So press your nose against the glass of the case of the Hippopotamomus

Lithe, wriggling schoolgirl, blowing kisses, making eyes

So blithely unaware, as you snigger at my lust

You'll be in this position by and by