Nineteen

There's a fire in my heart

But I've got blood in my mouth

Tongue caged by my teeth

Trying hard just to speak

But your shout has got me beat

And I'm rusting, I'm rusting

And my mother always told me

Tread lightly, don't step on his toes

And that was okay at a young age

But I am fully grown

Suit and tie at the table

Another disappointment

I'll stay quiet, still unstable

I'll swallow the poison

'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen

I am not the man you want me to be

I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak

I'm not a warrior, I am not you, I'm barely me

Someday, I hope to make it clear to you that success

Is not determined by leather-bound books and ink on paper

But rather the passion that I have found out of heartbreak and anger

I know that happiness is stability, but stability is not a desk job

And I refuse to sacrifice my aspirations for an income and security

What the hell is security?

See, I'd rather die at my fullest

Poor, but free to roam, than let an office drain me slowly for the sake of a home

'Cause I watched your endless intermission, an actor trapped in mediocrity

Gave up on your ambitions, and your convictions compared to mine

What a rigid dichotomy

'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen

I am not the man you want me to be

I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak

I'm not a warrior, I am not you, I'm barely me

I am not who you were at nineteen

I am not the man you want me to be

I am not, I am not

I am not my father's son