Alligator King

One two three four five six seven!

Said the Alligator King to his seven sons,

"I'm feelin' mighty down.

Whichever of you can cheer me up

Will get to wear my crown."

His first son brought seven oyster pearls

From the bottom of the China Sea.

The second gave him seven statues of girls

With clocks where their stomachs should be.

The third son gave him seven rubies

From the sheikdom down there beneath.

The King thought the rubies were cherries,

And he broke off seven of his teeth.

The fourth son tried to cheer him up

With seven lemon drops.

The King said, "I'm sorry son,

Since that ruby episode, I just haven't got the chops."

The fifth son brought the King perfume

In seven fancy silver jars;

The King took a whiff, and he broke out in spots

'Cause it smelled like cheap cigars.

The sixth son gave him seven diamond rings

To wear upon his toes.

The King snagged his foot on the royal red rug

And crumpled up his nose.

The seventh son of the Alligator King

Was a thoughtful little whelp.

He said, "Daddy, appears to me

That you could use a little help."

Said the Alligator King to his seventh son,

"My son, you win the crown.

You didn't bring me diamonds or rubies, but

You helped me up when I was down.

Take the crown; it's yours, my son.

I hope you don't mind the dents.

I got it on sale at a discount store-

Cost me all of seven cents!"

Seven!