I'm My Own Grandpaw

Many, many years ago when I was seventeen I was married to a widow who

was pretty as could be This widow had a grown up daughter who had hair

of red My father fell in love with her and soon they, too, were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and it changed my very life

For my daughter was my mother though she was my father's wife

To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy

I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad

And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad

For if he was my uncle then it also made him brother

To the widow's grown up daughter who, of course, was my stepmother

I am my own grandpaw

Yes, I am my own grandpaw

It sounds funny, I know

But it really is so

I am my own grandpaw

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run

And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son

My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue

Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too

And if my wife is my grandmother, I am her grandchild

And everytime I think of it, oh, it nearly drives me wild

For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw

As husband to my grandmother, I am my own grandpaw,... oh ...

I am my own grandpaw

Yes, I am my own grandpaw

It sounds funny, I know

But it really is so

I am my own grandpaw