Talking Mega (Church Blues)

A while ago I was feeling down

so I went to a mega-church up town

I walked in through the mega-door

and was amazed by all the people I saw

Man, it looked like a rock concert!

I know it couldn't because... we all know rock concerts are of the devil

Well I walked in to the massive door

And I coul've sworn I was in Barnes and Nobles

There where books, tapes, cd's

Good Lord, I must've took a wrong turn to the record store

I said: "Excuse me madam do you have the latest cd by Neal Morse?"

She said: "Who?"

Well I fought my way up the mega-stairs

And got me a seat way up in the air

I thought this is good up here by the ceiling

I don't have to do nothing, nobody's gonna see me

Not like my last church where everyone knew me...

I hated that!

Well I sat down, feeling at ease, and up came two giant color tv's

The lights went down and my heart was thumping, I almost shouted 'Hallelujah' or something

I think I was in the spirit...

Well the music started, it was mega-loud

and all the young folk started jumping up and down

I thought Man I've got the Spirit too, 'till my head hit the ceiling and my glasses flew

I thought man I'm gonna need a healing after this

I hope they have one of those special healing services

I saw the guitarplayer up on the stage

and shouted: "Hey man isn't that Jimmy Page?"

My mum said this stuff was sinful you see, but I guess even Zeppelin's cool when you're free

When the drumm started slamming I didn't expected

I thought John Buddle had been ressurected

I said: "wooheee this is the church for me"

as the people sang: "Holy, holy, holy"

I was feeling it too

I know God's holy but what about us

Well the music died down after a while

and out came man rich with a smile

At first I thought he might be a crook

But then I found out he has a best selling book

I recognized him from Larry King

He said to be safe from God's frying pan

You better get out and vote republican

Well he kept talking, and I was all struck

And that mega-message started pumping me up

So God wants me to be happy and free

I guess al those commandments were written for me

In my last church I felt something they called conviction... I hated that

When I knew he wasn't talking to someone else

I started feeling real good about myself

When that feel-good message started soaking in

I realized, God's okay with my sin

He covered it all on the cross you see

And nothing's really required of me

Man, I love that! Wooo!

When I realized I didn't need to stop sinning

It felt in my heart like a whole new beginning

I jumped on my feet and shouted: "Hallelujah"

They said: "Where'd you get that, we didn't give that to you. You didn't get that here brother"

Well, the time was short and his voice was soaring

Not like my old pastor who was so long and boring

Then he asked us to let Jesus in and said:

"Congratulations, you've been born again"

See my old church taught the crucified life

But this crucifiction sure feels nice

I wondered if the apostles felt that way

When Jesus said: "Carry your cross every day"

Ohh, you sound like a legalist

Well, my life was changed in an hour or so

But I slipped out the back so no one would know

Now that my ticket to heaven was sure

I skipped down the side-walk, feeling secure

And there is no reason not to live just for fun

'Cause I got salvation, I believe, so I'm done

Now I got redeemed from the grave

All I gotta do is get my neighbour saved

...Poor guy

But that still small voice in my head

Keeps on telling me: "It's not like he said"

And the preachers voice from when I was a kid

Keeps saying: "I gotta live like Jesus did"

You see? That church ruined me, I can't even live a normal life

Well a few hours later, when I got home

I tried calling Jesus on that main-line phone

But I didn't hear a voice, tender and kind

The only voice I heard... was mine

I guess He was at the mega-churches sick-service that day

And this is wat my point is friends, we need to serve God and not men

If we sell out to people and not God alone

There's no way we'll make heaven our home

Now some of the people can be alright some of the time

Now all people can me some right all the time

But not all people can be alright all the time

I think Abraham Lincoln said that

Let's say the people what God wants to hear

I said that!