Avengers: Infinity War Rap Battle

[Divide]

We've been waiting for this moment

The final opponent

Collecting the components

To end humanity!

[Captain America]

The first avenger, represent, show your elders some respect

I've fought nazis and robots and I've kept the gods in check

Hey thor, is mjolnir light? I got a heart of gold, I can hold it right?

Became a super soldier overnight, I was skin and bone now all my clothes are tight

I don't need a cape or hood to cease thanos' reign for good

You can break the S.H.I.E.L.D. or take my shield, this roger's neighborhood

Yo tony, me and your dad go back, we should be making up

These stars and stripes will have your back even when they're stained in blood

[Bucky Barnes]

So the mad titan's here and he got around to running his mouth off

I'ma hit him with a right then a left 'cause I got the ultimate southpaw

I got the homie, steve, to cover me, the blows will just bounce off

Fell asleep for a minute but I'm back and I'm looking for someone to pound on

I ain't scared of your jewelry, you ain't fooling me 'cause

I've got a titanium arm, you came to fight with a glove

You'll feel my might when I punch, I'll put a hole in your head

Forget black and blue, I'ma beat you till that skull turns red

[Black Widow]

Time for you to say goodnight, the sun is getting real low

Shock you with the widow's bite, now you moving real slow

How does it feel knowing you could never take us

Put on my steel-toes, stompin' purple balls' grape nuts

(Romanoff!) double agent, highly trained assassin

That means I'll stab you in your back and you won't know what happened

Tony, thor, and captain gonna leave you blue and blackened

Avengers, assemble, you know my crew is never lacking

[Hawkeye]

Set my sights, pull back and let it rip

Say goodnight once you've been targeted

Not long since I been gone, but a quick thought of me out of retirement

Has got your heart rate faster than these arrows I been firing

Said I was out of this rumble, even though I was top of my game

But thanos here looking for trouble, you know they been calling my name

So load it up, on this ride till the fun stops

Better run for cover, yeah 'cause I only need one shot

[Spiderman]

Peter parker picked some people plotting poison on my peeps

Packed a painful punch and placed it parallel between his cheeks

Planned to pop this poser, problems, now you see the pertinence

Penalize the perpetrator, press him, pound him, permanent

Adolescent but I'm mad effective, spiderman on the web, yeah I'm that connected

Thanos, ain't nobody want you here, you just popped up kinda like a bad erection

I don't like your face, I'm 'bout to go up on the high rise

And kick you off the web, just like disconnected wifi

[Falcon]

I'm about to swoop and commence to battling

You about to get pimp-slapped with a metallic wing

I'm flying at you, make yo head ring, me and redwing

Poppin' shots in your direction, let the lead sling

You cannot get me up here, you cannot fly with a falcon

We got you shakin' in fear, yeah you about to get outdone

Face it, you just a lame with a glove

When the missiles come down justice rains from above, squad

[Black Panther]

Look at his chin, get this dude some lotion

Smacked in the face with my bugatti spaceship, you bruised and broken

Dressed in all black like the omen

Come for the king, run for your life, now you want to kill

I can't condone it, now you gotta face a good opponent

What kind of villain are you, the one that's not too clever

I'll have you on your knees screaming wakanda forever

You do not know the way, you do not get to speak

You may be cold as ice but understand I never freeze

[Scarlet Witch]

Grab a straight jacket fast because this guy's insane

Energy blast to face, I'm about to fry your brain

Climb inside your mind with my psionic powers

Light flash will leave you blind for hours

Cower, cry and lie in pain

Now tap out, telekinetically giving your arm a twist

The sokovian conjurer known as scarlet witch

My red magic slash, lacerate your cartilage

And lay you down to sleep, then you will truly know God exists

[Vision]

Through the smoke around us I could see your vision clearly

We're the ones that have to be strong while the world is weeping

On the side of life, we fight to save what we hold dearly

Shield the universe in all-out war, it won't be easy

Heroes are flooding the skies, we persevere to survive

Better together we work harder our power combined

Guarding and standing on watch, our people won't be deprived

War left us all in the dark, we will assemble the light

[Dr. Strange]

Not a hero, I'm a neurosurgeon but I had to stop my hands really hurting

So I'm heading to kamar taj it's hidden with camouflage

Shamballa, the ancient one, is it manna or mana? Am I saying it wrong?

I'll know through focus, meditation, clothed in my new cloak of levitation

It's stephen strange looking pimp in this suit

As seasons change in an infinite loop, just think there is you

And then there's me, trapped in this moment endlessly

Dormammu, I've come to bargain, dormammu, I've come to bargain

Dormammu, I've come to bargain, till I've done my bars, and then I'm departing

[Divide]

We've been waiting for this moment

The final opponent

Collecting the components

To end humanity!

[Iron Man]

(I am iron man)

See me leading the avengers to be triumphant

Hearing thanos play a tiny violin

Yeah he's sad 'cause he knows that we gonna fight to win

I'm a scientist so I'll find a plan

Shoot a beam then thor is gonna smash 'em with the hulk

I'm taggin' the captain America with spiderman, uh

Want infinity stones? See the shine on my hand, more money than the entire clan

Hit you with magazines, not from my gun but the ones with my face inside of them

You'd be canned, I could tell you insecure like the size of an ant

Man, step back when the arc reacts and talk to the hand when I'm firing

[War Machine]

Okay I heard you about torturing beings, unfortunate

Seems you think that you're the lord of the rings

Hold up, war machine'll leave you shaking, rattled and scarred

I'm coming at your with way more guns than a national guard

Blasting your balls with about a thousand rounds of ammunition

My shoulder cannons chop your head in half, you making split decisions

Don't waste your breath, the avengers, we the safest bet

If you take a step then you will really have a date with death

[Starlord]

Starlord back in business, drop another awesome mix

Your ego like a planet, think it's time it's blown to bits

Bruce willis looking prick, 100% a di*k

For someone so uptight you be like really into fists

Relax my team, I'll blast this fiend like I stopped ronan's slaughter

This galaxy is backed by me, a-hole don't even bother

Groovin', no one's hotter and I know sh*tty fathers

So don't hate on the quill just 'cause the peter in your daughter

[Rocket Racoon]

Galaxy we're guarding it, guardians tear your cartilage

You don't want any part of it, aiming straight for the heart of them

Hey pardon me but thanos has his five finger rings out

Use my five finger discount, got these fire triggers inbound

And you are not a douche guy, I used my wrong eye didn't I?

Got to learn to wink right, give me time

I was bio-engineered, broke out of cryo, commandeering the nearest vessel

Just to pilot it violently up your rear

[Drax The Destroyer]

Hahahaha who are we killing today?

Quill, why are the people of your home planet so ugly?

And when does the fighting begin? I'm bored and hungry

Thanos gonna take a loss against walking thesaurus

'Cause I come from a fam ripped apart

Taking down ronan was just a start

They say I live for revenge, but that's not true

Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I can be sentimental

The other day I called mantis beautiful

I wanna say a few words before battle

We're all gonna die, there's no hope in hell

[Gamora]

Feels like I been waiting for this moment forever

Couldn't be better, the day we send you down to the nether

Where you belong, I was just a kid, you made me a weapon

Now I'm back for my revenge, you best not be forgetting

I'm an assassin, and this time I got a whole team

Watch your limbs, don't wanna get cut off by a talking tree

[Teen Groot]

I am groot!

I am groot!

I am groot!

I am groot!

I am groot! (woah language mister)

[Ant-man]

Small as a dot on the wing of a bee on the back of a slightly larger bee

On the bill of a duck on the back of a horse, what was the question again?

Oh yeah, am I small? Well you could say that

Small like a man who's an ant or ant who's a man

To be honest I don't understand, gonna kick your ass anyway

[Hulk]

Careful how you move around me

You don't wanna see bruce turn green

If I lose my cool you gon' feel that heat

You gon' free that beast inside

I'm not the one you really wanna try

I'd advise that you run and hide

When my jekyll side's rage starts to rise

If you wanna feel defeat I'll oblige

Step up to me to meet your demise

Thanos, now you're the source of my agitation

Better hope I go under sedation

Better hope I take up meditation

'Cause I got no patience, you got no chance

Green grouch bout to take out the trash

No romance just tryna smash

[Thor]

Uh, so what's a king to a lizard

Purple skin is tainted by the gems you failed to deliver

A crooked sinner, couldn't stack up if you gathered a horde

Fall onto your knees, bow down to the hammer of thor

Everybody wanna get it going but I'm flowing through the battle like it's easy breezy

Loki would've been a better fight for the 2nd time, come have a go, looking measly

Drop you harder than your mother did, pathetic

Smash you with the snap of my fingers, I'll come make you regret it, huh

[Thanos]

Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe

But this does put a smile on my face

Petulant child, evident now you ready to bow

It's arrogant how you believe you relevant, wow

Malevolent vow, to proceed to level and plow

Half of the universe, but first just you it hurts

Infinity stones, all capabilities grown

I'm all powerful and breaking every miserable bone

Every citizen including the avenger initiative

Can't do anything, I'm taking all your hope and I'm killing it

And that will be the story of you, you all died

It was all pride, gotta admit that you all tried

What did you expect, I only court death

You can get that break 'cause this is your last breath

[Divide]

We've been waiting for this moment

The final opponent

Collecting the components

We've been waiting for this moment

The final opponent

Collecting the components

To end humanity!

[Deadpool]

Knock knock, it's your favorite merc with a mouth

Dropping my verse like balls in your mouth

Ya, I know that's not right

But it wasn't cool not giving me an invite

To the team, you know, the new avengers movie, that's what I mean

Well f*ck it, I'm gonna come in anyways and lay some sick rhymes

'Cause I'm going to be a YouTube star, okay?

Is this the part where I ask them to smash the like, and leave a comment, er?

Gross face burnt like toast, revenge is what I want most

I'm cleaning up the east coast, I eat these streets like beef roast

Wait sh*t, what was my next line? Am I out of time?