An Open Letter: The Introduction

Before I begin

Excuse me while I drop a bountiful donation into the swear jar

Because in these next few moments

I'm taking you for everything you are

As you took me for everything that I was

Everything that I could have been

You took me for granted

Countless nights, I counted the hours

And the reasons of my being with your busted ass

Was I that desperate

That I would allow for you to treat me

As the rag tucked under your mattress?

Was I that bored

That I would see your outbursts

As entertainment for the time being?

You thought that shit was cute!

I begged for negligence

While you begged to eat my pussy

But I wanted you to starve!!

I fiened for your malnourishment

Why should I have to prepare such a feast

For the nigga who constantly force-fed me bullshit?

I mean, it's not like I was missing out on anything -

But could you say the same for yourself?

I figured love was written on my sleeve

But it turns out I was just lazy and in need of a good bath

In order to rinse myself of the sins that you had commited against me

You stained my favourite shirt

They asked me when I'll stop writing about you

And I tell them to mind their goddamn business

Because those motherfuckers were not the ones

Who were barricaded into a writer's block!

I beat down those walls like you beat down my encouragement

And I renovated them into a vault, in which I keep our jackal hidden

She scratches at the crack of the door

Begging to be released

But I keep that key tucked under my tongue

For if she were to get loose, I'd get locked up

And that is not the type of shit that I am trying to deal with right now

I had plenty of chances

Where I could have taken your life is what I'm saying

Whether it had been jail time, or self defense

Your life could have been mine either way

I type this as I smirk, and smoke, and sip on this good shit

I should have drained you for every drop!

I should have made you drain, then made you drop!

I should have called the fucking cops -

Or my cousins, whatever

But, no matter how many times you did me wrong

I did you right and I never left your side

Except for that one night

And that one guy that I never told you about

But, if you hear this you know the rest

There's no need to type it out

You made me feel alone

So he sat me on his throne - and he knew about you

But he did not care

I fucked the shit out of that man -

That one night stand

Hoping that you would feel it

And I hated the both of you after I was done

I guess that one fuck was the one

That I couldn't push myself to give to you

And that's when I knew I was over it

You meant nothing to me

You didn't even turn me on anymore

I was dry

Like your mouth on those pill-paraded nights

And you made me sick to my stomach

You cried because I wouldn't kiss you

And I was overcome with satisfaction

I had you kissing my feet

Running my bath

And drenching my chest with your generic salt water

None of this was real

It had to have been some sort of bad trip

An inception type twilight zone mirage

But it's over now and you're missing me

And I'm in love with him unconditionally

Which surprises me

Because I thought you fucked it up for everybody!

But in reality

You just brought me to the one that I'm supposed to be with

So thank you for the experience

I hope you see me

And I hope you hate me