Thumbelina

Hey dainty girl flailing on the side of the road

With your great thumb in the air

I hope you don't mind me asking

But what happened to your underwear?

And does your humble husband know?

Of 'ee hitchin' seedy path

With car-operating sexual deviants!

But Julian would never understand

And doesn't he know?

Just because he's a painter and he loves you

It doesn't mean that he has got a clue...

...About my Thumbelina

I've never seen a pair of digits quite like yours before

And I have traveled shore to shore in such arduous pallor

Your almost perfect body's got me quivering in a ball

To that brash cowgirl with her hands petting your crotch

And humping you in towering grass

Naked and gender-bending

What makes you think the two of you will last?

For there's no dame or man for her

There's just this open road where she hails down a pervert

With the usage of her giant thumb

Jellybean, you could never comprehend

The intellect of her mind

And just because you can make her come with your hand

Doesn't mean that she'll be your woman

But 'twas a loon on the hillside

Who planted a seed between your thighs

You fancied him as your therapist

But he's just a sadistic sodomist who gave you that bastard kid...