Internal War

I never contemplaited from adolescence to a man

Why I'm so quiet, with little friends

Could the reason be I'm whispering to spirits?

Apparitions inside my head

I tried fighting off the demons

Until they showed me what I needed

Conjuring emotions and violent solutions

I let them burrow deeper and posses a part of me

Now I am one with the damned!

They're fuckin tempting me!

The tension keeps rising!

Tell me it's alright to make wreckless decisons

Assert my vengeance!

I want to force them to feel what it's like to be

Still covered in the scars of past oppressors

Fortunately, I healed faster indulging in grief

Still, I'll never forgive what was done to me!

My escape is empty highways

A simple pen serves well as my weapon

After being held captive

Slightly considering death

Once one thing I loved was robbed from me

Slicing a knife through the wrist was the first and final attempt

Leaving behind the mental abuse and emotional stress

I'm harmed, but finally free

When I think about it, I don't need help

I just inflicted scars to watch myself bleed

Maybe to realize how damaged I am internally

No longer supressing memories, the past had to be released!

I'm not miserable now

Still you couldn't handle what transpires within my dreams

Incessant rambling, horrific crime scenes

If there was a god, he's punishing me

For years of defiance and blasphemy

Where was my calm before or after the strom?

Even when I reach R.E.M. my mind is still at war