The Past Is a Grotesque Animal

The past is a grotesque animal

And in its eyes you see

How completely wrong you can be

The sun is out, it melts the snow that fell yesterday

Makes you wonder why it bothered

I fell in love with the first cute girl that I met

Who could appreciate George Bataille

Standing at Swedish festival discussing the "Story of the Eye"

It's so embarrassing to need someone like I do you

How can I explain I need you here and not here too

I'm flunking out

I'm gone, I'm just gone

But at least I author my own disaster

Performance breakdown and I don't want to hear it

I'm just not available

Things could be different but they're not

The mousy girl screams, "Violence! Violence!"

She gets hysterical because they're both so mean

And it's my favorite scene

But the cruelty's so predictable, it makes you sad on the stage

Though our love project has so much potential

But it's like we weren't made for this world

Though I wouldn't really want to meet someone who was

Do I have to scream in your face?

I've been dodging lamps and vegetables

Throw it all in my face, I don't care

Let's just have some fun, let's tear this shit apart

Let's tear the fucking house apart

Let's tear our fucking bodies apart

But let's just have some fun

Somehow you've red-rovered the gestapo circling my heart

And nothing can defeat you

No death, no ugly world

You've lived so brightly

You've altered everything

I find myself searching for old selves

While speeding forward through the plate glass of maturing cells

I've played the unraveler, the parhelion

But even Apocalypse is fleeting

There's no death, no ugly world

Sometimes I wonder if you're mythologizing me like I do you

We want our film to be beautiful, not realistic

Perceive me in the radiance of terror dreams

And you can betray me, but teach me something wonderful

Crown my head, crowd my head with your lilting effects

Project your fears on to me

I need to view them

See there's nothing to them

I promise you there's nothing to them

I'm so touched by your goodness

You make me feel so criminal

How do you keep it together?

I'm all, all unraveled

But you know, no matter where we are

We're always touching by underground wires

I've explored you with the detachment of an analyst

But most nights we've raided the same kingdoms

And none of our secrets are physical now