The Cat Is Dead

Deedle Dee, three tots are we.

And we're as clever as can be.

We live with Grandma Ida and our dear old Grandpa Ned

And little Baby Mike (the brat)

And don't forget the siamese cat

And in the attic from Detroit is big, fat Uncle Fred

Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich,

and Grandma just complains (the bitch)

And Uncle Fred gets drunk while Mike just cries all night and day

The cat thinks that he owns the place

He bites and scratches on the face

It'd be so nice if they just went away, away

Ooh daddle, daddle daddle daddle daddle daddle day

(Chorus)

The cat is dead, the cat is dead

I went to pat him on the head

He didn't purr, he didn't meow he didn't blink or snip.

He seemed to have a funny smile that made me laugh

But all the while, the tail that used o flip and flap

Got awful cold and stiff.

We chopped him into tiny bits,

And seasoned him with apple bits

and with some dust, we made a crust and put him in a pie.

Into the oven he did sit, until the crust was nice and crisp

I'll love that little kitty till I die.

Dee die, dee di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di.

The cat is dead, the cat is dead.

And Mikey too, and Uncle Fred

Expiring oh so suddenly while sipping down some tea.

The tea was hot, the tea was hot

With stricknine and a little spice to

Cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy.

When Grandpa saw what we had done,

He went straight for his hunting gun

But we were quick we sole the clip

The rest is history

To make sure Grandma wouldn't flea

We gave her a lobotomy

And now's she's just as happy as can be

Dee dee, dee deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee

(Chorus)