My Secret Origin

I got a call from a dear old friend

He's the kind of friend you can depend on

The kind of friend you can depend on til the end

The kind of friend who'll say, "can you lend me

A dollar or two or three or four

In fact can you lend me just a little bit more

Oh and I borrowed your car I didn't go far

I left your car keys in the yard

Oh and you're out of gas I was driving real fast

How am I supposed to know who's yard?

I remember there was grass oh if anybody asks

I've been here for the last three days and nights

Just say I never left your side

Better dim the lights and hide

And besides I told them I was you

And it's true there's a few things I'd like you to do

My friend Big Lou who arrives tonight from Peru

He's just passing though

Lou and five or six guys from his crew

Will be staying for a day or two

I'm praying that you'll make it through

If I were you I'd buy lots of wine

And oh yeah there's just one thing more

One-Eyed Vinnie's back is sore

He kind of took a slug in the spine

So I hope you don't mind taking the floor

For an indeterminant length of time"

But after all he's my dear old friend

And you know he can depend on me

And when we die I won't stop to wonder why

Just there I'll lie

high on lame excuses and empty promises

I can't justify it

I can't just close my eyes and deny it

I'd tell you the moral if I were able

But this isn't some kind of Aesop's Fable

It more like the story of Cain and Abel

It just took a while to figure out which one I was