East End Apse

The doors of the church were dimly lit

No gate would budge a needle's width

But i would be a hapless fool

Had i not brought some useful tool

Been to the smithey at the wharf

Bought lockpicks from a jewish dwarf

My morals, they are like changing friends

They are the means to my own ends

East end apse [3x]

A codex from some holy saint

Laid in a box, adorned so quaint

Like popish dregs would cherish it

My fence he wouldn't care one bit

In public houses drenched in ale

On hills or deep down in the dale

For years to come would they discuss

The theft of a scroll from the east end apse

The theft of a scroll from the east end apse (common!)

That's where i go and steal the scroll

And make the congregation cry

Had i to choose between the two

My loathing for religious stew

Or pleasure stealing christian things

My impulse gives what pleasure brings

No dogma puts my mind on a leash

Or blackmails me for their prestige

Condemns me for my petty crimes

While they've been thieving through all times

East end apse [3x]

As fireworks and bells interred the worn-out year

I sneaked into the sexton's 'cause he wasn't there

And found in the absence of the light of day

The interconnecting passageway [3x]

Unlocked sev'ral doors to the heart of the matter

With noise outside things could not have been better

The reliquary lock my flower to pick

I knew what to do and i did it quick

I made my way back into the house

And left no traces, quiet as a mouse

And i can't wait hearing those churchy chaps

Noticed something's missing from the east end apse!

In public houses drenched in ale

On hills or deep down in the dale

For years to come would they discuss

The theft of a scroll from the east end apse

East end apse [2x]