A Clean Song

There was a young sailor

Who looked through the glass,

And spied a fair mermaid

With scales on her island

Where seagulls

Fly over their nests

She combed the long hair

That hung over her shoulders

And caused her

To tickle and itch.

The sailor cried out

"There's a beautiful mermaid,"

A-sitting out

There on the rocks,

The crew came around

A-grabbing their glasses

And crowded four deep

To the rail,

All eager to share

In this fine piece of news.

Which the captain soon

Heard from the watch.

He tied down the wheel

And he reached for his crackers

And cheese which

He kept near the door.

In case he might someday

Encounter a mermaid.

He knew he must

Use all his wits

Crying "Throw out a line.

We'll lasso her flippers."

And then we will

Certainly find

If mermaids are better

Before or be brave

My good fellows."

The captain then said.

"With fortune we'll break

Through her mermaiden head-

-ing to starboard

They tacked with dispatch.

And caught that fair mermaid

Just under her elbows

And hustled her

Down below decks,

And each took a turn

At her feminine setting

Her free at the end

Of the farce,

She splashed in the waves,

Falling flat on her after

A while one man

Noticed some scabs,

Soon they broke out with the pox

And the scratching

With fury,

Cursing with spleen,

This song may be dull

But it's certainly clean.