Razzmatazz

I got home on a Saturday afternoon. An empty airport and 542 days,

But everything seemed to be alright. Coming back. Coming home. I still

Had my tapes. Sometimes it only took one or two songs to change my mood

And sometimes I just wanted to listen to one song over and over again.

Most of the time I listened to old radio shows form the sixties, jazz stuff or

Soul. Coltrane, sinatra, starr. I never liked these new beats, those new trends, but

Going out always kept me alive. We used to hang aroundm have beers, flirt with girls.

One night in summer we had five birds. Only my friend david and me. It seemed

That we will never grow up. The only thing that I reminded me of getting older was

The need to go to england. Finally I went. How I hated these 1 ½ years. I wasted my

Time. My youth. How I did miss to be with my pals, to be with my family. On that

Saturday I returned to be with them.

Two days later - we used to go out every Monday - I felt insecure the first time.

It looked like nothing had changed. Some girls, some easy words. Same

Old new friends. It was raining that night. I haven´t seen so many raindrops since I was

Six and I´ve never felt so lonely in my life. My friends were still the same, only the

Girls had changed. They still played everything there, where the hearts still pound. All

These songs and all these tunes. But not for me … no one cared that I went home.

I stayed five days. I had already realized that it wasn´t the surrounding that

Changed but me. My parents, my home, my friends who were trying hard to

Convience meto join them. In these five days I did listen to the jam´s town called

Malice. Over and over again. I wasn´t sad. I listened to it so many times that in

The end I was sure they had thought of me when writing that song. It had

Already happened to me a hundred times before, but this time It was different.

Three weeks later I met a girl. Anna. I had never seen someone so pretty. …how

Many times I wished to have returned earlier. I´ve been away for so longm

Without knowing the reason why I wanted to come back. Now I kkow. I´ve been

Away for so long got caught taking everything. I´ve never met someone so …

To be honest (and to be brave) I am still working on being with her, but I know

It´s just all about feeling and doing the same thing at the same time…