Man, Girl, Boy, Woman

Every man in this world thinks he's got a big nose

Or a slightly under average size knob

Shout big nose or maggot in a crowded bar

And just wait for the seething mob

But the truth be known those smaller nose guys

Ain't no better, no longer on the job

They've got the same size nose and the same size cock

But a hell of a lot more gob

Cause gob easily camouflages physique

Like it camouflages self doubt

From those muscle men at the gym working hard to be a him

To those who speak loud but say nowt

All the girls in this world who watch their bodies unfurl

Get given too big, too small or just flat

And decider of the size is one of many wise guys

With a brain half the size of his sack

But the truth be known any breast that you own

Will have admirers from all over this land

Some will only stare at a particular pair

But most will just take what's in their hands

So hands up your jumper you're enjoying yourself

Let yourself squeeze your own pair

At least in years ahead when they dig up our dead

They'll know the fairer sex wasn't all fair

All the boys in this world whose hair never curled

As promised if they ate all their greens

Are digging like mad so when they're finally Dad

They've got the produce to be equally mean

But the truth be known it wasn't meant to mean

Just a little way to give you a scare

So those who ate their sprouts

Are right to have doubts

Cause half of them are losing their hair

So boys without curls shout to the girls

For loving us curly or not

And all my black mates who thought their's would go straight

You didn't have to finish the lot

Every woman in this world who's ever sat at the wheel

Knows who really chooses her course

If he takes corners and bends so well

How come he can't negotiate yours

And the truth be known you've only hit one cone

And he didn't even see you do that

And just to rub salt, you said the cone was at fault

And not the person who was sat on your lap

So big nigh five to the ladies that drive

Even higher for deliberately slow

Cause all a lady loves is a man in driving gloves

Out of petrol on a road he don't know