Happy New Year

So here we are again, another digit down the line

There's nothing new to say or feel so just watch the time go by

And I feel a sudden sickness grasp it's claws around my brain

Knowing everything we've said and done and yet this year too is the same

Oh I'm so sick of moving forwards, leaving more to haunt my mind

I wanna take away my future so I can stop being left behind

It's good to see that you moved on, I can watch you from the rail

While I'm sitting here decaying and waiting, realising another year is all gone

Another chance to change that I can waste

So I can hurt inside

And I watch us ignore the lessons we've been taught

Another chance to feel there's something more

Than life just passing by

And I wasted all the time that I'd been bought

But I'll have a very fucking happy new year

Self destruction, masterbation, dreams of giving up

Remembering to just begin something I can't fuck up

The night's never dark enough, the light burns holes in me

Shorting circuits and longing to understand how I managed to get here again

No matter what happens in every single day

This time of year comes around again and it's always exactly the same

The lesson that I've learnt - don't believe a word

Caring is a weakness and living is the way we hurt

Another chance to change that you can waste

So you can hurt inside

And I watch us ignore the lessons we've been taught

Another chance to feel there's something more

Than life just passing by

And I hope you can forget the pain I caused

And have a very fucking happy new year

Without me.