The Polaroid

Me holidays on the Southern Sands,

trying to get some fun by way of one night stands...

I clocked this girl, thought l'd give her the chat -

one of them Swedish blonde types, and l've always

fancied that.

I showed her me Polaroid.

She said "I like it, will you please take my

picture?"

I say "Right then", thinking this is gonna be me

lucky day.

She whips off her bikini top

and I think "OK!"

I say "It only takes a minute for this thing to

develop."

She says "I'd better push off now or me feller'll be

jealous."

Just then I felt a hand on me collar, and it was a

Boy in Blue.

He says "You can't take nude photographs on this

beach,"

and "I'm arresting you."

I protested me innocence,

but it was no use, the picture was forming;

he gave me the official warning that day.

He'd seen me Polaroid,

so what could I say?

I got me Polaroid

She got away.

I looked around, but she'd disappeared,

I say "You don't understand, this was all her idea"

but the copper says "Don't worry son, I get the

picture OK."

He took me Polaroid

and I got ten days.