Bollywood

I was trippin' lookin' at my portfolio

Wond'rin' how I was gonna make enough dough y'know

Called up a friend who wrote for One Tree Hill and Jericho

He had a job for me, and check it, with a four-letter company

(Get it on -- get it on)

Hey, I got a proposition for ya--

How 'bout you let me keep my profits as a scorer?

Record sales are shrinking, I'm gettin' poorer--

I got a kid to feed, how 'bout you cut a deal with me?

Exec: Ha! Hey look, Liz, we see you as a commodity

We've been with you since Day One and that's an oddity

And after a series of phone calls to the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor,

I reached my representative, who pulled out the

CON-TRACT

from the File Cabinet

(on microfiche!)

in the form of Tablets ...

MADE OF STONE

Then he said:

Let me see, it's here in my folder ...

Oh shit, you're twenty years older!

Still hot, but gettin' a lot colder

... And you wanna cut a WHAT with me?

Lemme tell you how it's done here in the Hollywood

Maybe you was thinkin' you was in the Bollywood

If I wanna break the rule, you know I prob'ly could

(C-B-S has gotta R-E-S-P-E-C-T)

Exec: Liz, I'd love to help you out. But we have what we call Standards & Practices...

Standards & Practices Lawyer Scum: In legal terms, we're referring to this as a recoupable interest in an artist's compositions on vinyl, plastic, digital, and all transmittable airwaves, for a period of no less than six or nine years, in all territories of the Earth, the solar system and the known universe.

And I replied:

Listen here, my dear little Roni

Don'tcha give me no phoney-baloney

This is not My first Pretty Pony

Don'tcha know you're fucking with me?

Oh, it's a bad day for the pool boy:

Come to clean, and discover you, boy,

Face down and feet turning blue, boy

Now your eyes are closed, you finally have the sight to see ...

It's ALL MINE.