Scars

I’ve been trying to stay away from mirrors

Guess I’m too scared to face my fears

There ain’t nothing scarier then not knowing if you know yourself

Speak my emotions, I just hope it helps

Sometimes I think about my life and I search for the meaning

Looking for temporary angels to permanent demons

Sometimes these people call me family just for they convinience

Take me for granted while I’m here, but get hurt when I’m leaving

Leaving all my reasons to kill in a box beside me

If you choose to open it brace yourself but don’t try me

Cause I don’t want to turn to that person thats so unlike me

But fuck with my family I guarantee I won’t take it lightly

I might be a lil different now, it’s different now

The love we had was toxic so we keep our distance now

We used to want to ride for each other, die for each other

Now we point the finger say names and lie to eachother

So it’s, fuck love and I numb the pain with this Hennessy

I hurt the people that always end up forgiving me

And all this money brought the fake people closer to me

And most the ones I truely love just haven’t spoken to me

But as of lately I ain’t got the time

And if you hear the song just know you on my mind

I wrote this as I’m trying to pull through

In hopes that you understand that I’m no different than you

Right now I am here

I have scars but no fear

Never thought I’d get this far

I got this situation I’m dealing with currently

My shorty had an abortion, who’s to blame her or me?

I feel the guilt that’s inside of me steadily burning me

Turning my stomach eating my spleen I’m bleeding internally

Fuck… turning me to this person I hate see the worst in me

The day she got out of surgery, prayed someone would murder me

Smile to cover the pain so these people don’t see this hurt in me

And that’s probably the reason it’s been so long since you heard from me

But one of my brothers is doing life, living life for alone

Said he was raised by the streets so prison is like his home

Seems the world forgot he existed, it's like he’s gone

But I still keep in contact with him, last night he hit my phone

We talked about the past reminisced on the time that’s gone

That’s when he stopped and he told me that his fate was set in stone

He said "my motivation is when you speak in that microphone

You make me want to go back in time just to right my wrongs"

Damn… That put me right in my place

Broke down and wiped the tear off the side of my face

I’m self conscious about myself not knowing I could be great

I focus on my weaknesses not realizing my strengths

If you can relate, you know how I feel right now

And probably hate me for it, but this shit is real right now

Cause if I ain’t have music and I ain’t have you to keep me sane

I'd probably OD on these pills right now

We are, missunderstood by the unforgiving

Apologies to my mom’s for the way I’m living

We both share the same pain so we ain’t to different

But I can’t help but feel like I’m drowning and something's missing

See I just want to be heard, I got my story to tell

Stabbed in the back, shot in the head, going through hell

Feels like I failed, but I wrote this as I’m trying to pull through

In hopes that you understand that I’m no different than you

Right now I am here

I have scars but no fear

Never thought I’d get this far