Sinner

When I speak it's like ya'll don't hear

Why I feel like God don't care

Why I feel like I ain't good as no one else

I'm searching but my pride ain't there

I just feel like life ain't fair

My boy got shot, died right there

But me, I died twice and came back to life

So tell me how can I be scared

Why do I gotta doubt myself

All I ever do is doubt myself

Drink liquor till the head gets consumed by the pint, like

I don't care about my health

Really I'm just trying to numb the pain

Love and hate it all just feels the same

Won't say I'm affected by the fame

But even my momma know I changed

So I get drunk till I can't feel

The love fake, the pain real

Got so many scars it ain't heal

But I gotta soul bullets can't kill

Why I feel like pops just want to pop me

Pop's never had a pot to piss in

Probably pack a nine on his hip then sit beside me

Pray to God there's no triple six inside me

No I can't let the devil in my mind

Same time the church will turn you blind

Last time I heard a preacher preach a sermon

All I heard him say was sinner's going to die

And they will never get to see a heaven

With all due respect fuck the reverend

Cause I know life was doing 25

Praying for early death like it's a blessing

This for my people going through depression

This for the kids who never felt affection

This for the kids whose parents don't accept them

Saying they love everyone else except them

I know what it's like to feel alone

I know what it's like to need a home

I know what it's like to not know what it's like

To have a love you can call your own

See I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf

Trust me man it don't help

I just feel like I'm losing myself

Why I feel like love don't last

Things change when you move so fast

I was trying to focus on us in the future

You was focused on my past

If you left I would lose my soul

Promise me that you won't let go

See I just need love it's funny I got all money but my heart still broke

So many times I said I'ma change

Just to turn around and do the same

Same shit that's been putting you in pain

I know I'm the only one to blame

So I get drunk, till I can't see

I love you, but I hate me

Trying to be someone I can't be

And I ain't been myself lately

Why I feel like I'm the only one that got me

You could take the same 45 that shot me

Pop the clip in, cock it back and put that motherfucker to my head, you'll never stop me

Yeah I be living life on the edge

Suicide all in my head

Why the world don't care about no one else's life till they already dead

I just wish pops was back to how he was

Cause he ain't been the same since the drugs

And I ain't been the same since he said the worst form of pain is not being loved

So we use the drugs they gave to us

To replace the love the world takes from us

Lately I don't even know who to trust

They saying even satan was an angel once

So I can't feel shit, so numb that I can't feel shit

Living just to die, we dying just to live this life it doesn't make no sense

See I done tried every single fucking drug on that shelf

Trust me man it don't help

I just feel like I'm losing myself