War Is a Science

Charles

War is a science

With rules to be applied

Which good soldiers appreciate

Recall and recapitulate

Before they go to decimate

The other side

(spoken) now, gentlemen, this is the plan for tomorrow's skirmish

The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill

So we've got to bring them down here, and this is

How we will

Our men in the ravine (that's this area in green)

Will move across the valley where they plainly

Can be seen

And the enemy (in blue) will undoubtedly pursue

For that's what you depend upon an enemy to do

Then to guarantee their folly

We'll bring bowmen into play

Who will fire just one volley

And retire to point "a"

And then, and then

And gentlemen, and then....

Pippin

And then the men go marching out into the fray

Conquering the enemy and carrying the day

Hark! the blood is pounding in our ears

Jubilations! we can hear a grateful nation's

Cheers!

Charles

Pippin, sit down immediately!

Now, where was i? ah, yes....

War is a science

A breeding ground for brains

For though i cannot write my name

The men whose pens have brought them fame

Write endless paragraphs explaining

My campaigns

Now when the foe see our soldiers marching

Through the lea

They will mount a charge and meet us at the point

I've labeled "b"

And their bowmen on the hill (in yellow on the map)

Will leave their posts to join the rest and fall

Into our trap

Then we'll cut off reinforcements and retreat of

Any kind

Bearing principles of enfilade and defilade in mind.

And if all the ploys we pick to really

Work to bring to pass occur

We won't just have a victory

We'll have ourselves a massacre

And then, and then

And gentlemen, and then....

Pippin

And then the men go marching out into the fray

Conquering the enemy and carrying the day

Hark! the blood is pounding in our ears

Jubilations! we can hear a grateful nation's....

Charles

Pippin....!

In conclusion gentlemen....

Now listen to me closely i'll endeavor to explain

What separates a charlatan from a charlemagne

A rule confessed by generals illustrious and various

Though pompous as a pompey or daring as a darius

A simple rule that every good man knows by heart

It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart

And if the fates feel frivolous

And all our plans they smother

Well suppose this war does shrivel us

There'll always be another!

And then....

All

And then....

Charles

And gentlemen, and then....

(spoken) now... gentlemen... now!

Soldiers

And then the men go marching out into the fray

Conquering the enemy and carrying the day

Hark! the blood is pounding in our ears

Jubilations!

We can hear a grateful nation's cheers!