Thorntons Big Gulp

You wear more make-up than zsa-zsa gabor

Been engaged thirty times because you're a whore

Who did you blow to get in tattoo magazine?

They airbrushed your teeth so them shits would look clean

You wanna be the coolest girl, the leader of the pack

But you can't be respected when you're face-deep in sack

You got pissed off online when your bubble started burstin'

It's not my fault you fucked everyone from fat rob to rich thurston

I'd be so ashamed if you were my daughter

Were you up all night when you fucked slaughter?

Fuck any band whether skinhead or dreaded

Been in more tour vans than premium unleaded

More paint on your eyebrows than tammy fay baker

"x"es tattooed on your chest because you're a faker

You "did something crazy" when you shaved your head

But who's gonna fuck the bands when aids kills you dead?

You even dated the singer from strangers as homos

This doesn't rhyme, you just fucking suck

Bright pink hair, thinking you look tight

But you're not cute, you look like a transvestite

Fuck anyone for scene points who's willing and able

Been laid in more hotel rooms than basic cable

Claiming straightedge but tipping back beers

You'd fuck propaghandi except they're all queers