Practically Perfect

[MARY POPPINS]

By the time the wind has blown

The weather vane around

I'll show you, if I can

No matter what the circumstance

For one thing I'm renown

My character is spit-spot spic and span

I'm practically perfect

In every way

[JANE]

Practically perfect?

[MARY POPPINS]

So people say

Each virtue virtually knows no bound

Each trait is great and patently sound

I'm practically perfect from head to toe

If I had a fault it would never dare to show

I'm so practically perfect

In every way

Both prim and proper and never too stern

Well-educated yet willing to learn

I'm clean and honest, my manner refined

And I wear shoes of the sensible kind

I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain

There's nothing else I feel I need explain

I'm practically perfect in every way

Practically perfect, that's my forte

Uncanny nannies are hard to find

Unique, yet meek, unspeakably kind

I'm practically perfect, not slightly soiled

Running like an engine that's just been freshly oiled

I'm so practically perfect

In every way

Well, those are my credentials. Perhaps you have a few questions?

[MICHAEL]

Not temperamental?

[MARY POPPINS]

Never.

[MICHAEL]

Not grouchy or gruff?

[MARY POPPINS]

Oh, the very thought.

[JANE]

Will you stay tender

When the going gets tough?

[MARY POPPINS]

Quite the contrary.

[MICHAEL]

Do you read stories

Without a big fuss?

[MARY POPPINS]

Mmm-hmm.

[JANE]

Or have objections

To playing with us?

[MARY POPPINS]

Oh, I like games, but I choose them.

Some minor improvements may not go amiss

But at all times you must remember this

[JANE & MICHAEL]

You're practically perfect

In every way

[MARY POPPINS]

I guarantee

[JANE & MICHAEL]

Practically perfect

We hope you'll stay

[MARY POPPINS]

No flies on me

Each virtue virtually knows no bound

Each trait is great

[JANE & MICHAEL]

And patently sound

[MARY POPPINS]

Patently sound

Spit-spot! Jane, put your toys away, please.

[JANE]

Do I have to?

[MARY POPPINS]

Yes. Michael, tidy your things.

[MICHAEL]

It's not fair!

[MARY POPPINS]

I didn't say I was fair. I said…

I'm practically perfect, and here's my aim

By the time I leave here you both will be the same

You'll be practically perfect

[JANE & MICHAEL]

Practically perfect

[MARY POPPINS, JANE & MICHAEL]

You (We) will be practically perfect

In every way