Lullaby (feat. Tori Kelly)

All the times I have layed in your life

When your love kept me safe through the night

All the time, I was sure you were mine

And before time demands our goodbye

Can you sing me a last lullaby?

It's been a while since I last dreamt

Barely remember what it's like to dream

Finding it hard to get to sleep, too stressed

And there ain't anyone to sing a lullaby to me

Pretend shit doesn't get to me

And I suffer in silence when I'm hurting

A man's problems are his own

And it's my burden

Tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep

But I find it hard to switch off when my mind's working

I ponder on things I shouldn't ponder on

Off the rails, my train of thought's wandering

Sick of pretending to be so happy

All the while my anxiety's away at me

My skin crawling, I look up to the sky

And it falls, the walls close in and it's

As if all of the good in my life disappears

In an instant, that thing is just so distant

So seeing the ones who I love, the ones who love me

But I don't wanna tell em how I feel in case they judge me

It's just me, wish I could let somebody in

But I ain't ever been too trusting

I've barely had any sleep when I get up

Sick of all these nightmares and these night terrors

Like it's only when I'm in heaven that I sleep better

Might sleep better when I get up, I'm weak

It just makes my day harder, I wonder if

It would've been any different if I had a father that I knew

Could it have helped shape the way that I grew?

But the point of things I never have went from

Being a reason for the things that I do

To just being an excuse that I'd use

I've gotta take responsibility for the things I do

Find something other than negativity for my fuel

But I feed off it, even when I don't seem bothered

I hide everything that's going on inside

It's been a while since I've been honest, I need help

But I deny it and even lie to myself like I'm fine

I just wish someone would tell me it would be OK

But pessimism leads me to believe that it won't

To see even a glimmer of hope in the darkness

Is hard and depression is a slippery slope

I don't wanna do what my dad did with a rope, though

So I carry on even though it's hard to

The only thing that's definite is death and things always change

As long as you give em a chance to

(Can you sing me a last lullaby?)