Pillar

You were a vision of hope, a light in the dark

But you gave it all up for the veins in your arms

Someone I looked up to, someone I could be when I grew up

You had your words in place, your mind was sharp

But you lost your passion for a shot in the dark

A place of security, distraught and untrue

I lost my hope when I gave up on you

Tongue in cheek

It never meant that much to me

But now that I’m older

The more I look back the more I see

The lies (the lies)

The hurt (the hurt)

The pride in you that died inside of me

That all ended when you raised your fist in anger

An example was all I needed

But that wasn’t set

It hurt to know you’d been beaten

You didn’t even try your best

I hoped you’d pull yourself out

With that weight on your chest getting harder to bear

I want you to know, listen to me

I want you to know, listen to me

I looked up to you

But it made me who I am today

And after it all

I changed the course and set the map on fire

Without a light, how could I stay on course?

Without an anchor, how could I survive a storm?

Substance abuse, was the only example I got from you

You weren’t much of a problem solver

Unless it was with your fists

This is my problem I’ve learnt to deal with

Tear the skin from my limbs

It’ll be less healing

I looked up to you and you crumbled

I looked up to you and you weren’t even fucking there